Above Average Joe Blogs

Timothy Dalton only got two goes at playing Bond, but for his last shot at the role, it feels like he more or less gets to play the character as he intended: a furious, brutish spy, on a bloody path of vengeance after the maiming and murder of his loved ones (Daniel Craig takes notes in the corner). If Licence to Kill was released today, it would have probably been box office smash, but released 1989 the film did fine, with audiences  turned off by its darker take. A surprising reaction, considering that in that same year, we were also gifted with the supposedly dark vision of Batman, courtesy of Tim Burton (FYI, the Burton films are dark only stylistically, rather than in tone - I mean, his two films have scenes involving the Joker smashing an art museum backed by Prince, and another with the Penguin leading an army of penguins with missiles strapped to their backs). But perhaps, Licence to Kill was one step too far in terms of what Bond fans were prepared to put up with at th...

With Roger Moore bowing out after A View to a Kill at the grand old age of 59, it was up to the film makers to pick up the unenviable task of casting Bond again.  Various names were tossed around, including Sam Neill (cannot see it at all), and Mel Gibson (thankfully that didn't pan out). Eventually the role was first given to, not the Welshman who would go on to lead The Living Daylights but an Irishman, Pierce Brosnan. This also didn't quite work out, as the reason he was chosen was for his starring role in Bond-esque Remington Steele. At the time of casting him, Steele had been cancelled but the sneaky people at NBC immediately picked up the show for a further series when Brosnan was picked. This irked the Bond big-wigs who ditched Brosnan, not wanting a star caught between two roles, leading head honcho's daughter, Dana Brocoli to suggest Timothy Dalton. Much like Daniel Craig would go on to do himself, Dalton brought with him the history of the books, bringing a ...

A View to a Kill is often regarding as one of the worst, if not the worst film in the entire series. Sir Roger Moore, 57 at the time of filming, confirms that he was too old for the role by being older than the leading lady's mother, said leading lady gets very little to do bar scream "JAMES!", and the plot is more or less a retread of Goldfinger. However, despite all this, the film, out of the 4 or so VHS copies of Bond films that I had available as a kid, was the one that got played most Why? Hard to say, but it likely has something to do with Christopher Walken and Grace Jones doing heavy lifting comparable that of the mythical Atlas. Together, the pair easily rate as some of the best villains in the series, visually iconic and wonderfully psychotic - any time that either one is on scene, they set fire to the script and all those around them. The Joe who has always had a soft spot for the bad guys saw a duo showing many other villains how it is done. Walken plays t...

So here we are, at what in my memory, was one of the worst Bonds. More cartoonish than ever before, Moore even older, an incomprehensible plot, the worst title of the series coupled with a meh title track, Octopussy is all those things and more, it just isn't quite as bad as I remember. I'll make a stab at explaining the plot: 009 is assassinated trying to escape East Berlin to West Berlin, whilst dressed as a clown (it is actually surprisingly effective and sinister scene), with a Faberge egg clutched in his dying hands. Turns out it is a fake and the first bread crumb of a trail that zigzags between a rogue Russian general, seeking Soviet domination (notably against the orders of his superiors, lest the series actually paints all Russians as evil), to an exiled Afghan prince hiding out in Rajasthan, India, aided by the titular tentacular temptress, Octopussy. I can make out the broad strokes, and what the villains are up to - it looks like they are using Octopussy...

Back in 2013, I was eagerly awaiting the release of two games - Bioshock Infinite, and The Last of Us. At a first run through both, it was Bioshock Infinite that stuck with me the most, entangling me in a mind mindbogglingly convoluted and meta-textual melange of parallel universes and commentary on the very nature of how gamers each have their own unique experience through a game. It also offered jaw dropping revelations impacting upon the series as a whole, which had my mind racing and reading forum after forum on the meanings. The first The Last of Us game swiftly followed, and my initial response was somewhat muted. It had exceptionally polished gameplay, and motion capture acting that was second to none, but par for the course for developers Naughty Dog at that point (although never with the emotional depth and range as demonstrated in that game). However, I found the overall plot to be too episodic and the larger picture to be all too predictable. It was crushingly disappointin...

The intention of the filmmakers to distinguish Moonraker from its sequel, For Your Eyes Only (FYEO), would on paper appear to be an attempt to mimic Bond's final act in the Moonraker film - that of sci-fi spectacle, crashing down to reality. And whilst FYEO  does grapple with fairly low-key affairs, for a Bond film at least, it doesn't quite give up the garish trappings of the past, leaving it uncomfortably straddling the two. In FYEO, the premise evokes classic Bond, particularly From Russia With Love, with Britain and the Soviets vying to take control of the lost British ATAC system, that allows the British government to communicate with its various missile subs. To do so, Bond has to entangle himself in the Greek underworld, aided by an avenging angel with a personal grudge to fulfil.  Sounds real world enough, right? Well, weirdly the pre-credit sequence does little by the way of acting as a mission statement. Starting with Bond visiting the grave of his dead ...

In 1977, Star Wars smashed onto screen, fusing fantasy and sci-fi into a big, mainstream space opera epic, and kickstarting one of the biggest franchises ever made. In 1979, Alien did the same for nail biting sci-fi horror, again kicking off a blood soaked saga, still screaming today. In 1979, Moonraker decided, "Hey, I can do sci-fi too" and does, and chucks in the sci-fi sink too. Moonraker the novel, is about a wealthy industrialist turning out to be a Nazi who became injured in WW2, blagged his way as an Englishman, who then plans to blow up London with the "Moonraker" missiles, originally made to protect Britain. It notably does not involve a megalomaniac with a space station ready to launch globes of lethal toxin on Earth, who then wants to repopulate it with his own chosen "master race." It also does not involve a bit when a pigeon double takes at seeing Bond pilot a convertible gondola onto land. As is the case of many Bond films, Moonraker t...